Every time someone recommends me a movie I freak out knowing that I won’t get the chance to watch it anytime soon. With such a jam-packed schedule it’s nearly impossible for me to slow down and consume a two hour movie. Sure, I did it to myself by scheduling back-to-back weekend trips and organizing “reunion” dinners every chance I get.
A triumphant day for me typically involves working out, taking my makeup off, and drinking more than two glasses of water. Bonus points if I hang out with a friend after work. Bonus bonus points if I get through the day without crying AND eight hours of sleep.
The last thing I have time for is to master new hobbies. For some reason, this has been causing me a lot of inner turmoil recently. Guilt plagues me when aimlessly lounging around at hookah bars with my friends, for I could be doing something “productive” (fuck you productivity culture) or bettering myself.
But rather than feeling guilty about spending all of my time hanging out with friends/family I need to embrace it. Goofing off with the people I love energizes me and reminds me of who I am at my core. I simply need to let go of the idea of who I could be if I had more hours in a day. So yes, I don’t plant my own herbs or cook zucchini noodles. Yes, I don’t know how to play the guitar, swim, or knit sweaters. But there are so many other things I get done in a day, and that is A-OK.
There will come a time when you no longer have such a large social circle. Your priorities will shift and you will have moved into another stage of life. Maybe then you can learn needlepoint and bake casseroles. If you are lucky you have a long life ahead of you — plenty of time to morph into the romanticized version of yourself. But for now, my dear, you are exactly where you need to be. Relax.