Let me preface this by saying that I love where I currently am in life and where my career is headed. I truly enjoy going into work everyday, and my co-workers are a blast. However, I still miss the living crap out of college. I feel the judgment radiating off others when I talk about how much I miss school. It seems as though all my friends are so happy to have graduated and entered the real world! It's only been two months! How did you all move on so quickly!
I miss walking around the University of Houston campus. I miss having professors that believed in me. I miss the satisfaction that came with getting an A on an assignment. I miss being in the presence of my friends 24/7. I miss late nights and lazy mornings recollecting what happened the day before. I miss $5 therapy sessions. I miss running into different side-friends every .4 seconds and making small talk. I miss blaming everything on "well I'm in college, yolo!" I miss Thursday nights and 3 day weekends. I even miss fucking Freshii in the UC. I miss it all so much that my heart physically aches sometimes. Everything that was part of my daily routine has ceased to exist (other than like brushing my teeth). I'm so tired of living in the past but I truly do not know how to move on.
As Summer comes to an end, it's starting to hit me that I will not be heading back to campus in August. My anxiety goes through the roof when I think about driving to the same work building everyday for god knows how long! Each day is going to be the same! Then I will get old! Then I will die! These are the thoughts that haunt me at night.
I sound like I'm going nuts, but most days I really enjoy adult life. I sleep by ten pm, wake up by six am, and will usually work out, journal, or grab coffee with a friend. I can buy whatever I want (within reason) freely. I can order salads at central market without burning a hole in my wallet. I now enjoy the weekends a lot more. I can also travel now! At this exact moment, I'm about to board a plane to Ann Arbor, Michigan to visit a college friend who works for Google. But naturally, my overthinking ass is out here reflecting on how sad it is that I have to book a flight and spend real money only to visit someone who used to live two flights of stairs away from me.