Love Quotes


All Quotes were found in The Betches book: I had a nice time and other lies


“One thing’s for sure, if he can’t get your snarky mean-spirited texts he’ll never get you. End it now.”

“Who the fuck flirts on twitter anymore? What are you going to do, write him a haiku?”

“How can you expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself” is absolutely true. Sure it sounds like something a girl who likes PB&J sandwiches with the crusts cut off would say, but it’s a fact.”

“In order for guys to appreciate you for you, first you need to figure out how to treat and love your body like it’s a temple, or an iPhone before the new version comes out and you stop giving a shit about cracking your screen.”

“Don’t bitch about how being fat means no one will love you and then order cheese fries.”

“If you think you’re funny by all means be the fat funny girl and people will care less about your weight. If you think your pretty and that’s where you draw your confidence, first we suggest getting another hobby because everyone eventually grows old and looks like shit and you need something to fall back on. If you think you’re smart, read more. Everyone is good at something (if you can’t think of anything, call your mom), and it’s about drawing confidence from the shit you’re good at and working to accept the shit you’re decent at if you can’t fix it. You can’t be ugly and stupid. Pick a struggle.”

“Get over your insecurities, and accept that you are unique and bring a lot of shit to the table.”

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down”

“Power is being told you’re not loved and not being destroyed by it.”

“If you had a favorite restaurant at which you two always ate, go find an even better restaurant and make a fucking new memory with your besties.”

“However, if you didn’t have closure to your relationship that’s an entirely different fucked-up playing field. This guy either ghosted you or never really gave you a concise, believable answer as to why he ended things. When this happens you have to make your own closure, which is about as easy and exciting as a juice cleanse or having a conversation with a cabdriver.”

“In order to be ready to date others you must enjoy dating yourself.”

“You’ll never get a second (or first) date if you can’t even fathom someone wanting to go on one with you.”

“If you don’t share his sense of humor, there are likely a lot of there things you don’t see eye to eye on.”

“Ask any asshole who says he prefers a “natural” look without realizing that it takes a lot of makeup to look like you aren’t wearing any.”

“Not everyone is going to love you, and you need to get over that because you have no control over it. What you do have control over is the amount of nonsense you put up with and the amount of respect you command. If someone is treating you like they don’t give a shit, it’s because they don’t give a shit.”

“If someone shows you who they really are, believe them.”

“Don’t date bros your lukewarm about, because the next thing you know you’re settling and you have a back-burner boyfriend that you are obligated to babysit at pregames and your sister’s wedding.”

“When you let your mind wander off into a fantasyland where the two of you are happily married with two kids and a cavalier King Charles in the yard, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and twisting what you guys actually have into something fictional.”

“Why is it so upsetting to see dads crying? because it rarely happens, so we know someone or something must be really fucked up. Whenever you have a breakdown, aim for dad tears: seldom and retrained when necessary.”

“If you constantly ask yourself if you’re settling then you’re most probably settling.”

“Do you want to spend 75 percent of that time with a guy you think is just okay because you got bored and anxious about settling down at twenty-five?”